The Glenboggin Bugle

Keeping Glenboggin in the dark since 1720

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Glenboggin on War Footing!

Yes, Glenboggin residents have once again been advised to delve into their under-stairs cupboards and pull out their gas masks. Why?, you may well ask. Well it seems that one of our esteemed cooncillors (or should that be extremely steamed cooncillor) Reginald Cooper-Smythe, was in the local pub on Saturday night spreading tales of doom and destruction for Glenboggin. It seems that after downing half a bottle of Gin earlier that afternoon, he switched on the radio and misheard that North Korea were readying a nuclear missile for an attack on Glenboggin. He then ran to spead the news of this impending disaster in the most public place he could think of, the local pub.

The net result of this was mild panick. We say mild because the Germans never managed to find Glenboggin during the first and second world war so what chance would the North Koreans have?

Anyway, thanks to Reginald, the town is now on 'High Alert' which, put into more practical terms means that the townsfolk are now locking their doors at night. At least those with locks that is! 

Shock & Horror! Horsemeat Scandal in Glenboggin

Our top story today is all to do with stolen horsemeat! Apparently, it should be in the pies... but it isn't! Some thieving swine has raided the Gleboggin Abbetoir and made of with the remains of Fluff the Pony and Trigger the horse, both scheduled for culinary redistribution early last week!

Our roving, part time reporter, young Josh McTaggart, said that the theft was going to be investigated by the police from Inverness, as soon as they'd found their way to Glenboggin. In the meantime, Glenboggin Abbetoir has put out a statement apologising for the sudden 'taste change' in the meat mixture they supply to the local bakery, stating that normal servive (and tastes) will resume as soon as Dougie Hoots-McLafferty's old nag 'Thunder', finally pop's it's hoofs in about a weeks time.

Obviously, the Bugle will keep Glenboggin residents fully up-to-date with any new developments!